MCI Thoughts: The Bummer Pits

It is the start of a new week. Sunday is the first day if you didn’t know. At first I didn’t want to talk about last week, but If I don’t these thoughts will drive me insane. Last week I couldn’t write anything. I barely wanted to talk because it felt like beating a dead horse. Everyone was talking at once and some were saying beautiful, eye opening things while some of yall are just idiots and well….you know you are dumb. Well here goes nothing. Here are my thoughts on last week aka The Bummer Pits week.



R.I.P. Robin Williams.

You were awesome Robin, thank you for all the laughs and memories! Rest In Paradise.

This started off the week. Yeah that’s it. I wish I never had to type those words. If you have been living under a rock, one of the world greatest entertainers is gone. Robin Williams punched his ticket out of here by committing suicide. Robin was battling depression. Depression won. Robin was depressed despite bringing so much joy to this world. Words cannot express how great this man was. I don’t want to bore you by saying everything that has been said about Robin in the past week. This really sucks and this lost hit me right in the heart. He was apart of so much for me. He practically was my childhood. Aladdin, Hook, Jack, Jumanji, Bicentennial Man, Mrs. Doubtfire, etc. The list goes on and on. I didn’t get see his early stuff like Mork and Mindy or some of his more dramatic roles like Good Will Hunting or Dead Poets Society or his first Broadway show because I was young. I’m sure if I saw it when I was a child I would miss the story he was telling and the humor. I did see Weapons Of Mass Destruction though and plan on visiting his first Broadway show because I’m sure it’s amazing. Robin was an amazing person. Robin was kind, gentle, genuine, an avid gamer, and just one of the nicest human beings to ever walk on this planet. I never heard a negative Robin Williams story. Robin was just that awesome.

I can’t say I don’t understand why Robin did what he did. I do. I understand because I have suffered from depression for a good ten years. Being bullied for who you are and never seeming good enough will do that to you. I’ve had the thought of killing myself multiple times and different ways. The ideation was there, but I could never go through with it. My conscious would not allow it. Even when you get over depression, it still lingers around. Depression is like that ex girlfriend or boyfriend who is just there waiting for you to crack or slip up just to tell you about it even more and make you hate yourself for that. It is truly one of the worst feelings in the world. Depression can have triggers and depression can just appear out of thin air with no reason. It’s not something you can talk out with someone or throw a book at or rely on your faith to save you. Sometimes the only solution is within yourself, Sometimes you have no solution. Different strokes for different folks. Pray and hope it’s a good solution and not extreme as in suicide. I’m not saying a friend isn’t an answer either because some of us do need that support to fight another day. There is a great video online describing depression and exactly how it is. I’ll link it at the end of this article.

I just want to say that depression is not easy; I want everyone to understand that it is not easy or has a simple solution. Robin knew this…hell he said it himself in an interview. Yet depression showed up again and took him away…

I hate that.

All I hope is this loss teaches people that depression is no joke. I hope mental health gets more awareness in the country instead of being brushed under the rug.

Robin Williams was a gem that we all were lucky to share.
Catch you on the rebound sir magnitude, Nanu Nanu

Oh Captain My Captain…

Godspeed & Rest In Peace.



The Cops against Protesters

What hasn’t already been said about Ferguson? At this point, I don’t see why I should brief you on what’s going on over there. However I will touch a bit on it. Just know it’s awful and a shame we are still in 2014. Am I going to talk about race in this? I could because it’s easy to demonize some white people or cops. There are good and bad ones. I don’t plan to. Why do that? I’ll just be sounding like a broken record repeating the same hate speech going nowhere instead of having an open discussion about what is really going on. Also I’m not saying those who think it’s racially motivated are wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. 

Here is mine.

I haven’t seen anyone say what I am about to type. This situation like countless others that go undocumented is an abuse of power by supposed “law enforcement”. An abuse of power. I thought the motto was “protect and serve” not “shoot to kill”. This same abuse of power took away another innocent child known as Trayvon Martin. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He went to the corner store, but he was chased down by man whose name I refuse to even say because he is scum. A man who had an urge to be Rambo. A man who wanted to see what it was like to arrest someone via profiling. A man who even went as far as killing this child who defended himself when he was being attacked. I mean seriously if someone follows you home or to your destination and begins chasing you, hitting you, wouldn’t you fight for your life? That’s what Martin did. This man had an agenda, This man wanted to abuse his power. That piece of scum got off clean too.

Of course there was outrage, protests, and venting on how messed up the system is.

And then there was Michael Brown.

Michael Brown was targeted and killed by the police.

Simple as that.

People were furious and began looting and fighting back because they weren’t going to take this murder lying down. I don’t agree with the looting or the violence there, but I understand it. Most importantly I understand it. For too long, people would sit back and just take it, but sometimes you just can’t take it no more. You want your message to be heard by any means necessary.

Ferguson looked like a war zone. Tear gas, tanks, teams who looked like armies against a bunch of people tired of trash and crap being served on their plate. It made no sense. All we could do is watch and hold demonstrations in different cities other than Ferguson. Newcasters weren’t allowed in Ferguson. Hell you couldn’t even go to a McDonalds without the police barging the place taking people away. It was truly disturbing.

Change is needed. However change will not come in a day. Law enforcement needs an overhaul on who can be police officers. The cops should wear cameras at all times documenting exactly what they did so there will be no falsifying of an arrest or issues. Of course there are going to be some officers who are going to try to find some way around it, but I prefer they all wear one so tragedies like this can be avoided. Officers need to be taught not to go to lethal force to subdue whoever. I talked to a cop at work and the levels of force should go as such:

  1. Presence

  2. Verbal warning

  3. Force without a weapon

  4. Intermediate force

  5. Lethal force

There is no excuse for any law enforcement to jump to lethal force when the suspect is unarmed and following the instructions you gave them. It is absolutely unacceptable. If there hands are up, DO NOT FIRE. If the officer cannot do this, then the officer should be fired. Point blank end of the discussion. The police department should do better background checks and briefing on any one trying to become an police officer. THIS NEEDS TO BECOME A REALITY. The System needs change.

Twitter activism did not bring change, but it brought awareness to the situation. Everyone shared opinions and used social media for good for once. Hell even the powerful internet group ANON even helped out sharing tips and keeping the police on their toes. Don’t Mess with ANON. While it was a beautiful to see smart people and those trying to educate themselves more about this case in Ferguson something else came along with it. Outrage, anger, confusion and frustration also came along with that. Some of the things I saw people post were truly sickening. I saw a vine clip of a cop chasing & pushing down a man who was simply walking to his apartment complex. I saw so many photos of people with their hands up in the mist of something that could very well end their lives. I saw so much on the internet…it’s scary. This sort activism showed us how scary the world can be yet how powerful the internet is.

In order for change, understanding is needed. People must understand exactly why this is a problem. No one should be getting killed by cops unarmed period; not a Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, etc person should not be getting gun down unarmed. A PERSON should not get gunned down for putting their hands up and following procedure. That’s unacceptable.

Ferguson is in a state of emergency. I hope peace will come and I hope this never happens again to anyone unarmed because that could be any of us.

My Best Friend moved….to St. Louis.

I know I know we just talked about some heavy stuff on the last two topics. This doesn’t even compare to that. I just have to talk a little about it okay? I’ll feel better ok? Don’t you want me to feel a little better from this crummy week? The Wheelman aka my best friend Josh has moved to St. Louis for school. HE WENT TO WHERE THE WARZONE IS…well not Ferguson, but somewhere else in Missouri. I’m a tad worried with all that going on over there. I am happy for him because he is awesome and this will be big for his future. I am already speaking it into existence that he will be great at whatever he does. What’s funny is I was told this months and in advance. Is it just me or when someone tells you they are leaving, the day comes, and it all just hits you that OH NO THEY ARE GOING AWAY!? That’s how it was. I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t like this growing up thing at all. Everyone is either moving away or planning to. Succeeding in their careers, getting engaged or married, etc. It’s so mind boggling weird to see haha.  I am scared of the future because I don’t even know where I’m going to end up. I think that’s the whole point though because life would be boring if we knew everything. Anyways, that happened and it’s not the end of the world. It just sucks.


Well that wraps up my thoughts for last week. As you can tell I’m really not forcing these. I only write them from the heart. Also, when I have things on my mind that absolutely have to get out or I’ll explode. I’m proud I didn’t even curse in this post not one time. For comedic relief I could right here, but ffanahhh let’s just leave it all nice and stuff. I feel better. This was good to get out my thoughts. Last week sucked, but we all are still rolling!

Till next time….bye now.



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