The 12 Days Of Honest ProCons: Selfless Jealousy


WELCOME TO DAY TWO OF THE 12 HONEST DAYS OF PROCONS!!!!! 

Let’s just jump right into it…I’m sure this piece is self explanatory!


Selfless Jealously.

 

Pro: Selflessness (adj.)

  1. Having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish

This is one trait I am proud to carry in my life. Selflessness! It’s a beautiful thing to have! This is not saying I don’t care about myself. Trust me, I do. I am my number one priority at all times. I have little concern!  What I am saying is I’m not obnoxious about when it regards to doing things for people or work. A kind act is a kind act, and a kind thing done at work is a kind thing done at work. I don’t get crazy when someone does a kind act for someone besides me. That’s just crazy! It is better to be selfless than to be selfish sometimes is what I say.

However, this is also a tool for me because I can use my selflessness to cover up something I am struggling with…well that’s what I used to use it for. Now I use it for doing things without expecting something in return. I mean now a days you open a door for someone, that person better say thank you or take you out to dinner! May The Maker help you if it’s someone you are attracted to because if you open the door out of kindness or do a selfless act, that person better drop them draws hahahaha. I’m joking, but seriously that’s how it is now a days.

Selflessness can be looked at as “oh he/she is a push over and I walk all over them”. Newsflash! It is not! It may be a problem for someone who is selfless all the time. I can see how that is more of a con than a pro, but used in moderation you have something golden here. You’ll get what you need and that’s being a good freaking person.

For example, one of my friends who is doing great now with his current GF and kid used to date this girl we will call C. I think he was short on money or something and decided he wanted to take her out on the town since she wasn’t from here. He asked me for 100 bucks and you know what I did? I gave him the money. I didn’t expect it to come back because I was going to make his weekend. Now granted I did ask for the money back because rightfully so it is money that is owed to me, but I didn’t expect to come back…..old me in the multi verse is pissed about it still lol. One of my many versions of me is selfish in the multi version and homie needs to pay what he owes!

Another example that comes to mind is when I paid for someone’s phone bill twice…thankfully it was only twice. Now this was some girl I had a crush on in middle school because Christina Milian is adorable and any girl at the time who resembled her was a winner. Her character on the other hand was questionable. I knew we weren’t friends and this person was using me, but I saw it as someone who was in a crappy situation and needed my help. Hell I didn’t have to do it, but it helped someone and that was good enough for me. As for how she is doing, I don’t know because again we don’t talk. Honestly, don’t care because it wasn’t meant for us to even be friends. When girls are mean to you in middle school and treat you like some oddity please stay away from them no matter how cute they were back then.

You deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you. I’ll do this motivational thing at another time.


Con: Jealousy (n. PL)

  1. Jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.
  2. Mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
  3. Vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
  4. A jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.

First things first, let me tell you something. I am a Scorpio. I repeat…I am…a Scorpio. Jealousy is something we are known very well for. I mean it’s well documented that Scorpios are insanely jealous. I have to unfortunately swallow a bitter pill and agree with that sentiment. I disagreed with it for years! I’m not extremely jealousy, but I have to admit it is there and it is a doozy. In retrospect, it is completely true because I have examples to freaking vouch for me.

I’m not extremely jealous, but my jealousy is next level…

I repeat next level.

It’s something I am afraid of and I hate to see when it comes out. It’s just God awful. I feel bad for anyone or anything in the cross fire.

It is like in order for it to resolve its self, the person or thing or whatever in question has to die or I have to get thing that I am missing. Hahahahah like this is my very first thought that comes up. It is either harm, death or I wish you or this thing did not exist on my planet. Besides, I wish I had it mostly the thought that comes after the “this must die” thought is “oh you think you’re so f***king lucky because you found something or did something that makes you look awesome or makes you feel good. F**K You”. This is followed by anger, maybe some I bet I could do it better thoughts and whatever is on the mind at the day to keep me from thinking about the thing that made me feel this way.

I am not proud of this at all and I’m so thankful that The Maker does not let me act on my jealousy. I guess you can say this is what doesn’t make it that bad, but boy oh boy does the emotion toll build up because I can’t act. Jealousy either motivates me to calm down or write some really terrible things that I wouldn’t even want to be seen to the world. I think I wrote one angry letter out of jealously and I can’t read it because there is so much profanity. I curse so much when I livid.

The examples for this is going to be so bad. For example, right now I hate just about everyone (family included) in a relationship because guess who never got to have one? This guy! What is the cause of this? King Jealousy! I hate people I don’t even know because they may have something, someone or one thing I want. Sad part is those people I hate could be good people and possibly we could be friends one day, but right now I am too salty to even f***king look or speak to you because B.O.B. “My own lane and my own speed, it’s a long road so I don’t sleep /If I don’t know you I don’t speak, it’s a small world and it’s gonna shrink/ If you’re full of shit, then you’re gonna stink/ I’m a realist I’m gonna think, with a pair of eyes so I’m gonna see” ever since I heard that…that’s how I feel about people I don’t have to talk to! Jealously doesn’t even allow me to like love. Doesn’t that suck? I think it is completely bull because I still have love in this big cold fortress and I don’t think the Beatles were ever wrong.

Another example that’s pretty general is when your peers are doing a bit better than you financially or job wise. I just get mad at them for freaking succeeding which is the dumbest shit I have typed. You should be proud right, but because it’s not you, not your story advancing, you have to be a mad little clown downplaying their achievements. That’s awful. My jealousy doesn’t make it any better because I can be mad for freaking months when I have done better or something equal; like instead of the normal thought of “good for them, I did good too”, I get “still I may have done this, but look F**K them and they success”.

It is stupid I know and I am constantly working on it. I can say I’ve gotten better hiding it if that counts!


Procon: Selfless Jealousy

To wrap this up, I will help you if you really need the help. I don’t worry about me if someone really needs actual help from me. It’s good to help people when you can. I must tell you though don’t do better than me or get something better than me after my help because jealousy may come out. It’s a shame because you are a great person, but you are going to be on my shit list and you won’t even know it. I don’t know, but that sure is stupid isn’t it. Hahahah I know. I’ll silently congratulate and clap for you I promise! * Wink *

Till the next day of the twelve honest days of Procons!!

– MC

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