The 12 Days Of Honest ProCons: Optimistically Cynical

Welcome to the 12 Days of Honest ProCons!!!! I hope you all like to read because this one is probably the longest one so far. We do have 5 days left after all! Well I hope you enjoy this entry! Reading Time!!!

Optimistically Cynical

Pro: Optimistic (adj.)

  1. Disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
  2. Reflecting a favorable view of events and conditions and the expectation of a positive outcome; demonstrating optimism
  3. Of or relating to optimism.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we live in a world where despair, disappointment, and unhappiness is presented on a daily basis. Presented through life, social media, books, television, music, etc. It is obvious that negativity is the ruler on the planet. A planet full of some optimistic dreamers who just want better for everyone. A planet where those said optimistic dreamers get their hopes and ideas dashed because the world wants them to be realistic. “Oh that idea is stupid, Oh don’t do that there is no career in that, Oh don’t follow your dreams….join the big party we are having here. Join regret” I say nothing is wrong with being realistic however you have to at least follow your dreams. I know it is hard to here, but you have to at least try. You know that quote by Norman Vincent Peale? You have heard it before. I know if you have heard The B. Coming you have heard this quote. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”. I recommend you to do that with a vision you have. Just go for it.

Sorry….I talked a bit too much. I just want you all to understand optimism.

If I had to pick the toughest pro, optimism would be number one. You know why it’s the hardest one out of all the others?

Optimism requires work. You have to be work to be Optimistic. It doesn’t just come by smiling at everything, letting everything go, pleasing people not named (insert your name) or being optimistically unrealistic. It requires work! You have to believe in yourself for optimism to work. You need to add a pinch of realism to optimism in order for optimism to truly work. You have to accept the crappy things that life brings you. DO NOT PUSH THEM DOWN OR BRUSH THEM UNDER THE RUG. Those crappy feelings will come to the light via an explosion and you will feel better after it.

Optimism is a super power. The people who have it are amazing people for that reason. People with it aren’t quite like most adults…they live like children. They don’t literally live like little kids. When I say they live like children, I mean they look at the world the way a child does…openly. Of course they are realistic, but they believe they can do anything they put their mind to. I swear on everything that’s holy it’s amazing. People with this superpower can talk anyone down, become friends with anyone, keep hope alive and most importantly be a magnet of realistic positivity.

For example, there is a person I know through facebook named Tiffany Garay and let me tell you something she is a beacon of optimism at its core. I’m telling you right now she is going to be something huge one day. She is always trying to inspire people through statuses or making us laugh with silly ones. She does what she can to make the world a brighter place and I gotta tell you she makes everyone’s facebook a brighter place. I can tell she is a great person based off of her values and morals and I never even met her yet. I remember one day back in February something she posted hit me so much I had to save it because I was having a down day. It was this comment that alone that let me know Tiffany is an amazing person.

It reads “Matthew Cyprian That just made my night, knowing that I was able to help one person tonight. Thank you so much. But I’m not the smart one, you’re the smart one. To be able to disregard other people’s opinions and just learn to be happy with yourself shows so much about your self-worth. That alone makes you an amazing, invincible, and strong young man. And I admire you, Matthew. Just by that alone. I use to have really low self-esteem as well, and I finally learned how to get over it . Wake up and say something positive about yourself everyday. Look at the optimistic view of something, instead of dwelling on the negatives. Instead of thinking I was stupid when I did poorly on a test, I would be like “Ha. Someone else definitely did worst than me. I’ll just use this as motivation to study harder next time.” You seem like an amazing person and we should definitely talk more (: Size does not correlate to beauty! I can so feel you ,if you ever want to talk about your insecurities. I actually feel ugly bc of how skinny I am. I try so hard to gain weight and it sucks bc I can’t. I have a really fast metabolism and my body just…I don’t know why. Some of it is genetics and I can’t control it but. I learned to just deal. I’m fine the way I am and someone will love me just the way I am. You’re actually REALLY handsome. Like no lie. You have really nice eyes and your smile is GORGEOUS! I wish I could smile like that ;-; I can’t wait to get these braces off finally, lol. You will make some woman very happy one day. No doubt “

BOOM goes the freaking dynamite right!!?! I read this from times to time when I’m feeling down. When she is having a bad day she will admit to it. It’s not one of “those cry for help statuses” or please “look at me” statuses, it is just a straight up honest status about how this day sucks and this group of people who have never met (or some have) come together and cheer tiff up to keep going. She is freaking awesome yall and I wish her the best in life. I hope we will get to meet some day!

I hope I have made my point. I gave you an example of a real life person and defined it for you multiple times. Do you see why optimism is so hard to hold on too now? It is something you just don’t want to let go because the world sucks sometimes.

I have a freaking superpower that I NEED TO WORK ON. It’s not perfect yet. I won’t lie mentally I haven’t been in the best space for the past two years. I am working on it so I can fully utilize my optimism. I can’t just let it slip away from me. I’m too awesome to let that happen. I believe things will get better for me and soon these bad thoughts I have won’t have the voice of a giant, but the voice of dog whistle. Quiet in public, but annoying sound only I can hear in my head. I’m going to make those bad thoughts go soft in their voice. Each day I have to remind myself that everything is going to be better and one day everything you hoped and dreamed of will come true. One day I’ll have everything I see in my head: a great paying job, my own place, a stress free mindset, books in the process of completion, more music projects,   a companion, steadiness, happiness, peace of mind, etc. It’s coming just like that Jay Electronica album we are all waiting for (that is if you are a hip-hop head). It’s going to be on its way, but I can’t sit on my ass and expect to show up. It just doesn’t work that way. I have to work on it…I HAVE TO WORK ON THIS. I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN…I AM NOT THEM, I AM ME.

It’s a day by day process, but one day I can say I made it there.

Con: Cynical (adj.)

  1. Distrusting or disparaging the motives of others; like or characteristic of a cynic.
  2. Showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one’s actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others.
  3. Bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

When you don’t work on being optimistic about life, you grow pessimistic. When you let pessimism run the show for a couple of months, you will quickly gain another superpower called cynicism which is by far the worst of the superpowers. What is included with cynicism? Oh distrusting everything, paranoia, hatred for self, disturbing thought process, ulterior motives, slices of negativity pie, defensive shells to go into because you why face life and many, many more additional pieces if you buy cynicism! It practically sells itself! I mean why wouldn’t you want it? I mean you don’t want to do the work for optimism right? So why don’t you settle for this!?

This is what the cynical salesman told me in my head. Two years ago it sounded like the best way to go….the world serves you crap so you serve it crap back. You take away your wonderful gifts and let them rot for a little while because you don’t know how to cope with these new feelings. You can’t trust your own reasonable thoughts….you become a little more broken than you actually were.

I believed that salesman in my head…I shouldn’t have listened to that salesman in my head.

Since I listened to that salesman, cynicism follows pessimism and optimism like the third wheel on a date. I think I have mastered cynicism. It doesn’t matter what people say or do because it is hard to believe they have your back. “Why would they when the world doesn’t?” The world is not supposed to have your back…you are. “What has optimism done for you lately?” So much, but I can’t see it due to this cloud in front of me. Of course you aren’t thinking this though because your thoughts are elsewhere. Your common sense and logic are elsewhere. Everything is not where it should be because of cynicism. All that is there is reinforcement of people being phony, people are not to be trusted, you are not to be trusted, and this world is not to be trusted. There is no chance for advancement when those thoughts are stuck like boulders in small places. Try wedging them out with your hands…I dare you.

There are times where I can’t trust people because of cynicism. They could have the best intentions, but I cannot trust them. It’s gotten like this with just about all my friends. I mean they aren’t my friends if I can’t trust them right? Wrong. I do trust some of them, but cynicism made me question that many times this year. I thought of destroy years of friendship I have with three people because of cynicism. Maybe time off from them would help me out, but to immediately think “F*** em they gotta go” with no rhyme or real reason is messed up. It’s not them just maybe I need a break from a bunch of people for this to truly go away. I don’t know what I need…lies…I do know what I need and that’s more optimism.

I don’t think too many people understand the wars going on in my head. My thoughts became a mess because of cynicism. It’s my fault because I let that happen. I let these stupid thoughts seep in to my thought process becoming a toxic that I have to now clean up. “Everything is trying to get you”, “everyone is trying to hurt you”, “No one loves you for you”, “you aren’t important”, “they aren’t important”, “you are ugly”, “I am big and you are small can’t you see?” “your best friends aren’t your friends”, “this person wants something from you”, “you’re only important when you are doing a task”, “people only like you cause of your things”, “You aren’t loved”,  are just some of the thoughts that come through. However, my fighting optimism will counterpoint those thoughts with “You are important”, “you are amazing”, “there is no one like you”, “I love you”, “your best friends are your friends”, “I think you can trust this person”, “these people may like you”, “you are important”, “you are beautiful”, “those thoughts are small and we are big understand that”, “don’t listen to it, listen to me”, “the toxic is going to leave one day”, “people like you because of you”, “everyone is not trying to hurt you”, “please know I love you”. THIS IS EVERYDAY. SO if you ever expected me (if we have hung out) to be something like a cheery clown or a happy person, do you now understand why it’s so hard for me to click that switch on and indulge with you all? I can’t just be that in y’all life if am dealing with that upstairs. Matt isn’t present sometimes…Matt is just cleaning up the crap so he can enjoy the moment. My face will be in “classic Matt face” or now known as “resting bitch face”. So don’t be alarmed if I am not smiling despite having a great time…I am just thinking…and I am fighting.

I am fighting. Everyone, I am fighting. One day I’ll have cynicism afraid of me.


ProCon: Optimistically Cynical

You know something? This is why I write sometimes so things can die down up there. I’m feeling so much better typing this out instead of letting it sit there. It feels like a toilet flushing and new blue water rushing in. Ok maybe that was a bad analogy implying my mind is a toilet…it’s not. It is beautiful. Let me try again. It feels like a refreshing shower or bath. I feel like I just washed off a lot of gunk in this one and now I feel clean. J

I am optimistically cynical…and one day I’ll just be optimistically Matt.

Till Day 8!




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