Welcome to the final day of the 12 days of Honest ProCons! Today is the finally day of our special. I hope you learned something about me and could relate to a couple of these posts. I really had fun doing this! So it brings me to two simple questions. Do You Love? and Do You Hate? This is today’s topics. The power of love vs the power of hate! Who is the winner?
Before I start, I want to address the small elephant in the room. I know this is the same title of the-dream’s album. It’s a classic now, but this isn’t going to be anything like that. You see if the article was going to be about the definitions three, five, six, and seven would be all we are talking about. Hell then this could be like the-dream’s “LOVE HATE”! Sorry if you thought I was going to be Zane for a minute….so sorry. I’m sure there is a blog out there that can satisfy your need.
Now that is out of the way….let’s begin!!!
Pro: Love (n.)
- A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- Sexual passion or desire.
- A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
- (Used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like)
- A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
- Sexual intercourse; copulation.
“All you need is love *trumpets * Love is all you need”.
Love…such an odd rarity.
Love is freaking amazing.
Love is confusing.
Love is kind.
Love is patient.
Love is special.
Love is… I don’t know.
I don’t think those definitions above could do it justice because well love can be many different things. It can be just sex to some people and that’s how they show it. Love can also be a deep bond between two people or even more through friendship. Love can be strictly relationships to some people. Love can be hate and hate can be love to some people. It’s just how love works. The definition alone is subjective to whoever you are talking to! You just can’t pin it down with words because it’s too strong to be labeled.
Love is whatever you want it to be.
My heart has so much love in it. It scares me. I don’t think it’s normal. The love I have formed the person typing this article. If I didn’t have it I would be someone completely different. This blog wouldn’t exist…and sadness would envelope the already sad world lol. Ok maybe not, but I wouldn’t be here. All the pros I have mentioned from the past 11 days come from love. I couldn’t be passionate, optimistic, respectable, emotional, etc. if I did have any love in my heart. The love that is left there continues to be a beacon of light and positivity despite all the walls and chains around it. Yeah baby I got that heavy fortified heart package 😉 lol.
Love allows me to see the best in people. I just can see the value and what the person is worth if I really love them. I don’t want to lose them or see their greatness get diminished by others. This goes for friend, lover or foe. I want to see you succeed even if I do not like your punk ass. It’s just how my love works. I want everyone to get what they need or I don’t like being the bad guy harboring negative feelings for people. Now when those people I show love too that don’t do the same, I don’t get as mad as I used to. I get it, no one loves exactly like me or you. The mind may want us to have someone love us exactly the same way we love them, but a bit harder. It just doesn’t work out that way.
Love has made me stupid and ignore my logical common sense degree sometimes too. It has done it to everyone so don’t act like it hasn’t happened to you. I bet one of y’all are being stupid over love right now lol. I can tell you it made me stupid because it was new and I never experienced anything like that before. The girl I fell for seems happy now, but I was simply stuck on her for a while. She was the first love and those are the ones that cut the deepest. So using context clues you should know she was the first heartbreak too. We are still very close (best?) friends to this day, but yeah she made me a bumbling idiot. Of course I could have avoid this experience entirely by listening to what people would tell me about her like “she is playing you”, “she has sides”, and my favorite “she isn’t going to love you like that”. I ignored all that stuff and defended her whenever it was said. However maybe you guys were right about stuff because we aren’t together. That is something I wanted once I caught the feeling, but it didn’t happen. There is more to it, but that is none of y’all business. I should give yall a cookie because you were correct and nothing happened right? Naaaa you are still wrong. What I gained from this is a ton of experience, insight and a bond that only we can end if we choose. Point is love made me stupid and guess what? It’s going to happen to you too one day! Hopefully you can look back at it with like….well not a frown or a smile. Look at it with an “Ok that happened….something is better is to come” face.
Love has made me better. I have an amazing cast of friends. Yes they are a cast because when I die they are doing have their names show up like credits. My friends supplemented that love I didn’t have or get with their awesomeness. I am one awesome support system by myself, but when you combine that with my little rag tag bunch of friends you get something special. Love allowed me to meet them. Some of them can read me like a book while others can just figure it out offering great advice. I love them dearly…even though we bump heads at times. Trust me we do! I’ll tell you because a couple of my friends I’ve seriously considering get rid of because of a bunch of stupid crap. I’m sorry yall. I’m just trying to figure things out if I’ve been acting a bit odd. It took a conversation with my uncle to realize that friendships are more important than being right all the time. You don’t have to be correct all the time. Tell your pride demon to fall back!!!! I’ll tell you that because you’ll miss out some great people. Only drop them if they are really toxic to you! Don’t let people who make you feel like crap or are constantly negative stick around and leech off of you! You are amazing and deserve amazing people around you! Friendships are important! Relationships you form with people are important! So thank you all for making me a better person at times even though I, the lead, is going to take all the credit for it lol.
While Love is great and can bring wonders, a lack of it can bring out the worst in people.
Con: Hate (v.) (Used with object) hated, hating.
- To dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest:
- To be unwilling; dislike
(v.) (used without object), hated, hating.
- To feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
- Intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.
- The object of extreme aversion or hostility.
I hated mostly everything for two years.
This hatred formed out of rejection, failure, coming up short and just overall losing. When it shows up…all I can tell you is try to fight. Try as you must, you are going to succumb to the feelings it brings.
Despair, bitterness, anger, rage, revenge, and of course super resting bitch face. You got to have S.R.B.F. when you are in this mode lol. Hate brought all these feelings and freaking amplified my cons to new heights. It was completely embarrassing and just awful. If you got hit, by any of those….sorry again. I didn’t mean it. The hate was strong in this one. I became a reverse black hole. I pushed everyone away from me because I had to adjust to this new feeling that I wasn’t used to. I was used to depression, but this hate deal was something new.
Recently, I said out of blind rage that I had no love in my heart. I had no love in my life and I had no love to give. I said that because at the time I felt like that. I felt like I needed to be completely alone in this world to recover from my hurt. It takes time to heal and I figured if I didn’t have love the thing that hurt me, I could get over it.
But that’s not what happened.
See what happened is I began to despise love, I despised people who found love (in a hopeless place…we found love in a hopeless place…a hopeless place), I just flat out began to hate love as a whole.
“What has it done for me lately? Why does everyone else get to find it? Why does love constantly avoid me? Why is life so unfair? What did I do to deserve this?” were just some of the questions that would pop up in my brain. Since I didn’t have the answers at the time and had no idea how to find them…it just motivated the hate.
It felt good to just be a raw version of fuse. It felt good to be pessimistic, cynical, unreasonable, jealous and numb. It felt good to mourn over a possible lost. Sometimes I am still mourning because there is always a chance I have to end some long lasting friendships to get better. Maybe that would be the solution to getting rid of the hate.
Or would I just hate myself for getting rid of them because I didn’t know how to cope?
Would it make sense to get rid of the girl who chose someone else over you because you don’t know how to cope?
Would it make sense to drop your homie because he is in the next stage of his life and it doesn’t feel the same?
Would it make sense to just stop being friends with people because hate tells you…”guess what I don’t like them any more”.
Honestly the answer is it depends. If all they bring is heartache and negativity, drop em. If they are bringing positivity and love still despite how you feel keep them. My uncle said a friendship is more important than being right sometimes. Don’t let your pride mess up something you love.
I can’t say I have completely gotten rid of my hate either because sometimes I need it. I use it for creative purposes only. I feel like if they are going to be negative I am going to catch you in this master ball and make you do positive stuff for me. J The winner is me lol.
ProCon: Love Hate
Something crazy happened over time.
I chose to love the one thing no one loves….and that’s hate.
I re-stock some love when I was building that big project around it. When I did, I decided to embrace hate with love. I tried to see exactly why those feelings weren’t as bad as people make them. I broke them down to understand them and needless to say we had a nice little party. Optimism, pessimism and cynicism are like the three musketeers no one expected lol. Selfless and selfishness are a couple, along with patience, irascibility, kindness, and jealously. It is a swinger’s type of deal. Intelligence, creativity and overthinking wrote a crazy story together. I heard apathy is very sympathetic when the doors are closed. Someone told me that the stubborn and numb crew really love the passionate and respectable crew. Can you believe they actually respect each other? Love and hate got back together for the billionth time. Oh and some guy named Matt is an emotional introvert. We had a great party!
See plenty of these pros and cons that come with hate and love are normal. The beautiful thing is you can find a common ground with all of these if you choose to look for one. You can make those negative things work in your favor. I turned hate into a form of love and love into a form of hate. I made them switch roles for me to get better.
And the great part is through this weird switch I am getting better.
I can realize when I am being completely unreasonable like ending a friendship over a late email or text because that’s not cool. Add overthinking, figuring people out and life you’ll get that decision without factoring in that they have a life too! They work just like you and everything stupid!
I now know when I really need to get rid of someone. I can’t do that just being an emotional wreck, I need to own up to my emotions because I am in control of them. I just need to have a real talk with the people in question to see what this friendship is instead of imagining what it should be in my head. Tsk tsk Matt.
I noticed if I like a woman, I am probably going to pick at her and get on her nerves instead of being how used to be all sweet with my talk and what not. Wait actually…part of that is true. I am a mix of both if I like you in that way. I’m probably not gonna let you know that though because the shy boy is in the build and I’m shive lol.
If I want to be friends with you, I am going to annoy you at times or be overly dramatic because hey I like you as a person and I think we should be friends. I am just expressing it, by going over the top instead of being you know….all cool about it.
Ok now I am going on a tangent, but that’s ok.
I just want to get the point across that it is ok to feel hate sometimes. Just don’t let the hate take over you. Remember you always have love around you even if you don’t have everything you want. You have love. You have hate. You have them both! It is up to you to choose how to properly use them. You can either be a black hole denying yourself love or you can be that beacon of light that is honest with their hate.
The choice is yours.
I hope you enjoyed reading the 12 days of honest ProCons.
This was a fun little special…hmm now to think about what to do for next year!!!
Till next time!
I hate you all that don’t read these
I love you all!
– Matthew Cyprian