Hello all! Welcome back! It is story time! This one is called TMI. I applied some information I just learned from a book I just finished along with a joke from one of my closest friends! What up Wheelman! This is the one about the stalker comment you made bruh bruh you made it! Of course, it isn’t what you think because when I get a hold of something it changes. The idea changed overall and my big heart decided to write a story. It turns out I’m not as cold hearted as I thought I was. I am just a bit cold.  This story could have took a dark turn quickly, but I’m glad it didn’t. This is a fun one. Please enjoy TMI! Thanks! – MCZX


It is Saturday, the clock reads 9am. I am resting from a wild night of partying. It is senior year of college and I’m enjoying the last of it. I’m not looking forward to the big leagues, but it will happen eventually. My sleep from my drunken stupor is interrupted. I am not a heavy sleeper if you can’t tell. I hear shuffling feet in the grass. I live alone and I did not go home with anyone so I know it isn’t anyone leaving my place. Normally, I would be more alert. “Could it be burglars?” I softly said to myself. I thought about and it couldn’t be. Burglars don’t rob houses at 9am that would be asinine. I stopped reaching for my weapon next to my bed and began to think a little more. “Oh….it’s that” I said. You see I already know who it is in my backyard, near my window or even at my front door. It is a person I have history with. A very lengthy history. I wouldn’t considered her an acquaintance or a friend. Just one person I was a bit too nice to back then.  Gosh, I wish I was a bit meaner at times. I’m about to confront her for hopefully the final time about this because someone doesn’t understand what a restraining order is. I have a unique plan that may work and may rid me of this “problem”.

If you haven’t read between the lines, I have a stalker. Her name is Krystyna. My name is Rob and this is our odd story.

Before, I get into what exactly happened that caused all of this I want to tell you a little bit about Krystyna and myself. Krystyna was an odd ball. She was a 5’4” bombshell with beautiful skin that all the girls were jealous of. She was a brunette with long hair that she would rarely let down. She wore glasses. I don’t know if it was for reading or style.  Krystyna’s eyes were hazel. They were mesmerizing. I swear if you stared at her too long you would fall in love. Her personality was very awkward to most people and normal to a few. She was very selective of who she would converse with. I can tell she was an introvert. Krystyna also had this habit of collecting information about people. People gave her the nickname of “CITynA” based on what she could find out. I’ll repeat, Krystyna was an oddball. An oddball who looked like an absolute diva slash walking supercomputer.

On the other hand you had me, 6’6”athletic with curly jet black hair. My eyes were dark brown with spark. A spark of intimidation yet welcoming to all that would look. I was your typical jock slash popular guy in school. I wasn’t a heartthrob, but I could have been if I wanted to because I looked amazing (and still I do well at least I think so). My jaw line alone could make a 1950’s star jealous. I was my own heartbreak kid. I was also the smart class clown. I emphasize the word smart because old Robby boy didn’t fail to disrupt a class or fail a test. Oh…yeah closet nerd with great genetics. Genetics that allowed me to be the captain of our basketball team where I took us to the finals. We won our championship for the second time in a row. A great gift to close out senior year of high school. That is a humble brag for myself haha. Let me stop talking about myself.

You see all of this started in senior year of High School. It was our second to last week of school and the juniors were plotting their big prank on the seniors before we left. Pranks were a bit harsh back then. It was either to make an impression, be hilariously clever or to really let someone know you could not stand them.  I considered myself the shield for all of my fellow seniors at the time. They could count on me that they would not get pranked unless it was by one of us. I had been successfully pranking juniors while foiling their plans to get me or my fellow seniors. My girlfriend at the time told me about a rumor that some of the junior girls were going to do a real mean prank on Krystyna. The prank was inspired by the film “Carrie” except it would be a lot worst. Plus I don’t think Krystyna has physic powers to kill them all, it would just be emotionally damaging. I told my girlfriend at the time we should help our fellow senior, she laughed and simply said “No. let CITynA get whats coming to her”. I didn’t get it. I helped everyone. I didn’t discriminate. It was like I was the only one who was going to help Krystyna. I was determined. The day of the prank, I approached Krystyna despite everyone’s wishes and told her not to go to the cafeteria. I told her about the mean prank that was going to happen in there. She looked shocked and relived. I offered her to hang out with my friends by the gym. She just stared at me for a while. It was creepy yet adorable. She smiled at me. It was a smile that shouted “thank you”. I guess she knew about it too. Krystyna nodded and went with me to my group of friends. She was very shy and quiet around me and my friends. My girlfriend was not happy about it. I assume she was threatened by Krystyna and that’s normal because…a lot of girls were. I could tell Krystyna appreciated that I cared enough to foil the juniors prank. Overall that’s all that mattered right? No seniors getting pranked by the juniors.

Fast forward, I got my scholarship to my college of choice and graduation comes around. My girlfriend, my friends and I are celebrating. We are planning one last hurrah on the town before we say our last goodbyes. I am going to be a couple one last weekend before we break up and go to different colleges because we don’t want to hold each other back. It was a normal thing to do. Before we all met after the ceremony, I saw Krystyna. She walked up to me, got on her tippy toes and handed me a note. I know I’m tall, but she didn’t have to be that dramatic about it. I read the note and it simply said “We should keep in touch”. I looked at her, smiled and said “Sure, why not! Good luck in college” and I gave her a big hug. She was smiling from ear to ear and excitedly said “You do the same. Keep in touch”!

I didn’t know that “keeping in touch” in Krystyna language meant “I am going to learn everything about you and eventually become your stalker”.

Krystyna attended my college, I thought it was just coincidence. It isn’t crazy for someone from your high school to go to the same college as you. It just got weird all the other times I would see her. Krystyna would pop up at parties I went to, come to any event, basketball games, debates, even concerts. It was creepy. However, whenever I would wave to her or even say hey it would be normal conversation. It was more like she was my watchful eye I guess. I ignored it till it became annoying and then It got crazy. Hacking, break-ins, hiding outside of my apartment, you name it she did it. She did it for 3 years. I guess she planned everything in freshman year and just acted from sophomore to senior year. Smart lady I must say.

I yawned and got up from my bed. I looked out the window and there she was. Krystyna either making sure I’m alive or she plotting another break in to hide in the closet. Either option, it was finally time to really throw Krystyna off her game. I threw on a shirt along with some sweats and headed out to the backyard.

I yelled “KRYSTYNA, you don’t have to hide…come on out. You are pretty easy to see”

She replied “Rob…I’m sorry. I know you are mad…I know-“

I interrupted “Listen…come inside we need to seriously talk”.

Krystyna’s face was confused exactly how I planned. She said “What about the restraining order? If I come near you I’ll be going to jail…that’s what you want right”?

“No that’s not what I want…just come inside and let’s talk about this. I promise you won’t go to jail”.

Krystyna stared at me for a while and nodded just like she did in high school. I gave her a hug so she didn’t feel so scared. I walked her inside. She took a seat by the table and I proceeded to talk to her about the big elephant in the room that’s been growing for year. I also wanted to talk to her about a minor issue I found about through my friend Derrick.

“So Krystyna before I get to what I invited you in for, I must ask you a question” I said calmly.

“If this is about the Derrick thing—“she said.

I shouted “YEAH! That! Why in the hell are you stalking my friend now? The audacity of you to stalk someone else that is not named Rob”? I stared at her intently waiting for an answer. Phase one of my plan was in effect.

She looked at me bewildered and said “I have to have options…it is senior year and I need options—“

“Are you crazy!? HE is not an option. You committed to this and I got used to it. And that is why I am going to ask you to go home” I said.

She got up frustrated and looked like she was about to cry. “FINE” She said “I knew you were just bringing me in here to humiliate me and make me feel bad about all the wrong I have done”.

She began to make her way to the door until I stopped her. Yep I stopped her. I looked in her hazel eyes and said “I wanted you to go home to get ready for dinner. You and I are going to have a long talk over dinner. Let’s say 7PM, Cheesesteak Factory. I want both of us to look nice. It’s a meeting slash date ok? You never thought that you would hear that right? I’ll come and get you ok? Now you can get to know me without being creepy. Now see you at 7”.

Krystyna’s jaw dropped as I walked her out the house for the upcoming dinner tonight. All she did is nod. She couldn’t even say a word to me and I knew phase two of my plan is working and all that is left is to initiate the third and final phase at dinner. I know most people would have called the cops and have the security buffed, but you have to understand something…Krystyna was harmless. She has been hanging around for three years doing this and I honestly was annoyed with it, but I figured now was the time to turn the tables.

7PM rolls around, There is a knock on the door. I told her I was going to pick her up, but I guess she thought I was joking. It was Krystyna front and center at my door. She was as eager as me to hatch my final phase tonight. I awkwardly laughed about how she was on time and she joined me in the laughter. She tried to full hug me, but I brushed that off with a side hug. We headed to Cheesecake Factory. I’m not going to bore you with all the chit chat, odd pleasantries and what we ate. It was good food. I am just going to cut to the chase.

The server came around asking if we wanted desert. I was stuffed, she was smiling a little too hard. She said “I’m stuffed too please tell her no…Don’t order your favorite desert please”.

I said “Oh what is that?”

She winked and said playfully “A triple chocolate cake” I obliged and pointed to the waiter. “Exactly what she said”. She put her head in her lap and said “Oh my gosh, why did I even say that”. I laughed and playfully said “Hey it was your idea”!

You see this was going to be needed for phase three and exactly what I wanted to happen. I have her in the palm of my hand and now it was time to drop the bombshell. Phase three began.

I took her hand in mine, looked her in those hazel eyes, smiling and asked a simple blunt question

“Since you know so much about me, do you think you could date me?”

Her face was pale and the smile was that of a shocked grin. You know the face you make when someone catches you off guard with something you wasn’t expecting to hear? It was that face. I loved it because in that moment I had the power to either crush her completely or make fixation with me a reality. This was the whole point of phase three. I continued.

“I mean do you really think you could handle me? Sure you know just about everything about me from I assume senior year of high school to senior year of college. You know my favorite foods, shows, bands, teams, everything. And all this information you know about me hasn’t really benefitted you? Has it? Will it really benefit you if you say yes to dating me? Don’t think I didn’t notice you either Krysytna. You have always been a gorgeous woman…a bit weird, but gorgeous. I’m just curious to see if your information can aid your actual experience with me. SO what do you say Krystyna? Do you want to give this a go or would you like to continue being an oddball? Oh look the cake is here”

The server sat the cake down and Krystyna just looked at it for a while. I began to eat as she continued to stare. I’m sure my barrage disrupting the norm had her stunned. After about 5 minutes passed, Krystyna looked at me as I smiled and continued to stuff my face. She took a piece of cake off of my plate and smushed my face in it. She then look up at me and said these words

“I accept. I am going to date you….and I decree this cake going in your face the first cute thing I do to you”.

I belly laughed and she did as well stuffing cake in her face. Dinner was over and we headed back to my place where she slept over. We both passed out on each other due to too much food. This was the beginning of Krystyna and I.

I wish I could say Krystyna was going to fail dating me. I wish I could say that she had no idea what to do with me. I wish I could say that Krystyna didn’t become one of my best friends and lovers over time. I wish I could say I never planned to fall for her. The truth is she surpassed all of those wishes. She didn’t fail dating me, she knew exactly when to back off and when to not let go of me. She knew me so well….and I can’t be surprised. Her information aided her well and I fell. Maybe this was all a part of her plan? She may have outsmarted me for the better. We are four years strong in our relationship. There were ups, downs, in-betweens and incident. So many incidents. So little time. Our periods were just a little more extreme than others. It isn’t life crazy? You never know who you are going to end up with. She went from this odd creepy stalker to the love of my life? WHAT??? Now I’m the one trying to learn everything I can about her. So I guess that makes me her watchful eye stalker. I know one thing though, phase four is going to involve a ring and me smushing her face in a triple chocolate cake.


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