Welcome to I’ve got an Issue.
Last week was a long one, this week will be a short one.
I need a break from you lol.
This week I’ve been very uncertain, but certain that I don’t want to be around people. Maybe it is a introvert thing, but does anyone else feel the need to like need a break from everyone one you know or you will snap? I feel like that’s where I am at right now. It is odd because I know I don’t hate anyone, but why is it when I see their face or hear their voice this intense feeling of hatred appears on the brain? I don’t…what is this…even?
I only hung out with some people on Monday and I think I need to recharge my social meter. Very cool people, but something about that hangout triggered something that I need to admit because sometimes I don’t like being around people. ESPECIALLY, people who say stupid, sexist, idiotic, or just plain “WHAT?” comments. It’s like I’m sure it was all in good fun because we are all dudes hanging out, but each time I heard one of those comments something in the back of my head was like “I want to yell at you, but I don’t want to be rude”. Most would say man up and don’t be pusillanimous about it, but when you don’t like conflict sometimes it is best to just stay silent. I don’t get it, but after that one day I was re-evaluating every single person I know plus overthinking (I touched on that last year) and introvertism. Besides speaking with some of my cool co-workers, I basically stayed to myself this week trying to figure this all out. My company may have triggered something more besides needing a break from people (I’m sure of that now). It led to one general question that lead to a bunch of other questions I’ll share with you. Am I Happy right now? I had no answer.
Questions on questions on questions.
Along with that question, here are some of the other questions that flew around in my head.
- Do I want friends?
- Do I want to ever fall in love again?
- Do I think it is better to be alone or it will hinder me to be alone all the time?
- Should I go out more?
- Do I not like some of the people I know?
- Do I want new friends or want my old friends to change?
- Am I damaged goods?
Pray on it? Think Positive right?
This is just the tip of the iceberg of course. Those questions alone when into much more depth and detail that I’ll leave out on the blog. I don’t need to put no personal “malice at the time” stuff out there because I’m calm now. PLUS Y’ALL DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT. The creative rut isn’t helping either along with Rowdy Roddy Piper (R.I.P) & my soundcard passing away. It wasn’t a great week. I guess my feelings like Drake is on a rainy day when no one texts him back. This too shall pass, I bet on it yet it’s unpleasant.
Till Next Issue!