I’ve Got An Issue #14: Let’s Rock This Sandwich Together Subway.


Welcome to I’ve Got An Issue!

Today is about Subway. I could talk about how Jared Fogle is a twisted individual who seriously needs to be punished for preying on children, but I think I just summed that up. He is disgusting human being that needs a max sentence for being a child molester and overall pervert. I hope justice is served and he doesn’t get a slap on the wrist. Sick sick man. I’m glad Subway has cut all ties with him, but he will forever be the subway guy the sick sick subway guy who was trying to get in kids pants. Sick man.

Instead, I want to talk about a particular commercial by Subway that touched a nerve with me.  it’s one of their new commercials I’m sure you have seen it if you have a television. If not don’t fear, I have it for you here courtesy of youtube.
Can you tell me what is wrong with this commercial?

Before you say anything, I understand how commercials work. You are selling a product or an experience so people can come. You are trying to attract them to your place of business so they can spent some money. I get it. However, the glaring problem with this commercial is the experience is not genuine. It won’t be worldwide. Selling the sandwich is one thing, but selling a false experience on how one should be greeted and served via commercial is hilariously incorrect. Seriously that commercial is funny after a couple watches.

Be honest with yourselves, what fast food establishment is that jovial? I can answer this question. I know three places where the energy is always happy or cheery. Chick Fil A, Canes, and Five Guys. Those are the main three fast food establishments I will occasionally go to if I have the time to go and if I feel like spending the money to eat their food instead of cooking. Every other well known establishment isn’t like that. It is more along the lines of “what do you want, give me your money, and get out”. “Welcome to [Insert establishment here] is a rarity if you aren’t at those three places I mentioned. The enthusiasm isn’t there like “I’m happy to serve you food today!” it is more like work ESPECIALLY at Subway! Going inside of a Subway is like giving up your right to make a sandwich at home with no excitement and tired employees. It is like going to a high school cafeteria except you get to tell the lunchlady exactly what you want (in my experience I only had one lunchlady in my schooling who was excited to see and serve you food like the dude in the commercial) while she blankly stares at your bad decision sandwich. Meatball marinara with extra cheese no veggies slathered in mayo and mustard. Come on kid get it together. I know it is petty of me to point it out, but that commercial is a liar. I don’t like liars.

Also, what fast food establishment offers suggestions on what you should get on YOUR order? The answer to this question is none. Go to like McDonalds or Burger King and just stare at the cashier expecting he or she to tell you what to get on your Big McWhooper 2.0. The cashier is just going to wait till you make a move. You have to tell them what you want. In the commercial, the lady says what sandwich she wants and he begins to build it, but the recommendation part towards the end doesn’t work that way. I don’t believe a sandwich artist is suppose to suggest something unless the customer asks “What do you suggest?”. This is when they can say “hey let’s put red onion on here” and you can either agree or disagree. This is the part when you can build or rock your sandwich together Subway. By the way Subway, that never happens. NEVER. “Let’s try this toasted with monterey cheddar” You are a liar because that sentence wouldn’t ever come out the sandwich artist’s mouth unless you ask what should be on there. “How about we spice this up a little bit with red onions and sweet onion sauce” more like I may have an onion allergy and you shouldn’t be telling me what I want on my dang on sandwich. “You can lead, I’ll back you up” you damn right I’m gonna lead because the only backup is you to back up off of me with all these unneeded suggestions friend I didn’t ask for this.

My point is Subway sell the sandwich or the deal. Please don’t try sell a fabricated experience because people who take commercials seriously will be expecting a sandwich artist to make suggestions on the customer’s sandwich at every Subway location. I don’t eat there. I’m just pointing it out because it made me laugh at how far from the truth that commercial is. Fast food places just aren’t cheery. Nothing is wrong will selling great customer service, but if reality differs from the sell then we have a problem. A problem that is going to make me laugh.

Let’s rock this sandwich together if I ask for a suggestion ok?

-MCZX

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