Welcome to I’ve Got An Issue!
Oh gosh this is going to be a fun one! Today’s topic is this phenomenon called the friend zone! If you don’t know what this “zone” is, may I enlighten you? According to google, the friend zone is “a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other”. WHAT A CLEAR DEFINITION! Also, friend zone is a noun if you didn’t do too well in English class. I mean I thought that would be obvious, but you know some people just don’t know what those are. May I share a little trivia for the friend zone as well? Did you know there was a TV show on MTV called Friendzone who confess to their best friends in which the said friend would either give it a shot or just crush their dreams like Rusev crushes backs…and Lana. RUSEV MACHKA! DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT THIS SHOW LASTED FOR FIVE SEASONS? FIVE ENTIRE BROKEN HEARTED & CHANCE GIVEN SEASONS! HOW THE HELL DID THIS LAST THAT LONG!!!? HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU WATCH A PERSON BASICALLY TURN INTO A MONSTER OR BECOME EXTREMELY HAPPY? HOW!? Wow is all I can say. The friend zone can be a awful place to be in because you want that person to look at you the way you look at them. However, I propose this question: What if the friend zone doesn’t actually exist?
Personally, I used to believe it was real. I used to think girls would do that to people they know like them a lot, but won’t give it a shot. I even watched the first season of Friendzone (SERIOUSLY THERE WAS FIVE SEASONS!) and related to the failures more than the success stories on there. It was liberating to see there was hope for some who laid it all on the table and got a shot. I gotta tell you when you are young and every person you catch feelings for does not reciprocate the emotions you have for them, you can believe anything to make yourself feel better about rejection. Oh rejection you ugly son of a bitch….stop eating all the snacks and pay your rent. At that time, the friend zone made the most sense in all my rejections, but as I grew older and matured I realized that wasn’t an answer I could accept in my life. Clearly it was flawed logic. It took time, but I had to accept that I was simply rejected despite how awesome I may think I am (at times, let’s be honest I ain’t shhhhhh ever). It was very humbling experience. Yes, I got rejected, but you know what? That is completely OK! I’m not going to say there are plenty of fish in the sea to make myself feel better or say I was “friend zoned” because no one could possibly not like me.
Guess what ladies and gents? There is no friend zone…stop saying that there is. You are only hurting yourself beloved. Rejections sucks, but denial is way worse!
I think there are 3 type of people in this love game.
- People who strongly share mutual feelings of love towards you as you do to them (I’m not talking the friend love where you care about them, but you aren’t about to be in no relationship with them. Anyone can care lol.)
- People who fake those strong feelings you have for them ONLY when you do something for them whether that be a gift, buying them something, taking em out to eat (If that’s not your man or woman, GO DUTCH all the time), paying bills, and being an emotional support only for them, but they are never there for you. Where those feelings now?
- People who just cannot like you in that way. Please do not force them to do so either
The second type of people are the worst.
Listen to me, you are worth someone loving you. It may take a long time to find someone who complements you very well or that person may be right around the corner waiting to put you in a headlock taking so long to show up while their heart was getting broken. I know yall had to see that video on some sort of social media site where the guy did that to his girlfriend and began to cry lol! I’m still waiting for the moment I meet that lady, everything changes, and I put her in a headlock. Playfully of course. Domestic violence is weak and toxic. JUST LIKE THE FRIEND ZONE. Don’t fool yourself with the idea that every person you have strong feelings for friendzoned you. Maybe they just don’t like you in that way. It is very reasonable you know? No one owes you an explanation on why you weren’t picked unless that person in question feels the need to explain clearly why. If the pain is too much for you, just stop being friends with them. Sometimes too much contact with the person who hurt you isn’t going to benefit you. You may need some alone time with yourself. It is going to be ok and life is going to move on trust me.
It pays to be optimistic. You don’t have to be blindly optimistic to the point where you aren’t sounding realistic. You want to be realistic while maintaining that optimism. Optimism is strong tool…it is a freaking superpower! Also, don’t think you need to be with someone to be happy either. It isn’t about needing a person to provide that. You can be happy all by yourself. Just be optimistic that you may meet that special someone who will play a huge role in your life. Whether that is your soulmate or best friend for life. Don’t let rejection ruin your character. Adjust and learn. Do not self destruct within yourself. Focus on you and your goals! Get things you want accomplished! Be comfortable in your skin! Travel! Read a book! Write! Play some video games! Watch some anime! Work out! Do what makes you happy! Enjoy this gift called life! You deserve love and one day it is going to come you whether that is with someone or within yourself!
Stay focused and remember the friend zone does not exist!
Till next time!