I’ve Got An Issue #21: The Conversation Between Reason & Depression


Welcome to I’ve Got An Issue.

Today will be a little different than the usual format. I’m not feeling to good mood wise for some reason and I wanted to share something that’s been brewing in my head for I guess years. I want to share a conversation between reason and depression. I’ve got an issue with it, always have, so I decided why not share. I may follow up in the future with a normal format dedicated to why depression is such a son of a bitch, such an unsung mental illness that gets swept under the rug. This conversation may help people, I may feel better after writing what is going up there. Here it is the conversation between reason and depression.


 

(Fade in. Matt is sitting on the couch typing up the next issue while it rains heavy outside. We go inside Matt’s head to see depression and reason bickering)

Depression: You are doing this again?

Reason: He has every right to write about this if he pleases.

D: You know no one reads this right? You aren’t even that great of a writer.
R: Really bruh?
D: Yeah. I mean if he was wouldn’t this blog be blowing up? Plus you are kind of a couple years too late on this whole blog thing. You should have started in high school. You were always writing then.
R: Popularity comes with time and then again it can always go viral one day. You have no idea what the future holds. As for starting in high school, he was in a different mind state back then. Everything works out the way it is supposed to.
D: Really? Tell that to life. I suppose innocent people dying is for no reason is the way it was suppose to work out right?
R: Idiot those are two different things. I’m saying in his case the timing wasn’t right. Your dumb ass example doesn’t apply to what I’m talking about. No one knows the means or when a life can end.
D: Sure. I know I can make a life end. I know I can end all this pain for you Matt if you just listen to me. I can make all the pain go away if you just listen. All the pain this world has brought to you from family problems, divorce, rejections, bullying, not feeling good enough, feeling like the higher power is dealing you a bad hand, feeling like you’ll never amount to anything, you name it I can fix it. You know the saying you die a hero or live long enough to become the villain. Just—
R: You aren’t ending this one despite your multiple goading. Cut it out. You are sick. Matt listen to me, you have a awesome life. You could be way worse my friend. It isn’t that bad. All good things come with time. Whether you believe or not sometimes, understand the higher power dealt you a very decent hand. Now for not feeling good enough, you need to understand that you have the power to change anything that is plaguing you. Whether that is people, family, friends, losing weight, gaining more confidence, you name it you can fix it. You can even get rid of depression
D: He can’t get rid of me. I’m his long term girlfriend/wife. We got married in middle school and he ain’t even know it. *Milly rocks and dances*
R: Yes he can. He can get rid of you. Depression please, everyone knows I’m the one he’ll never forget. As smart as he is, you already know I’m the one. We perpetual and you on some ephemeral forcing mistress shit.
D: I can get him to do it.
R: You can’t get him to do anything not as long as I’m around. He has free will, he isn’t ruled by you. All you can do is make him sad.
D: If it was just me and his id I can make it happen.
R: Not as long as his ego and superego are in check. You have no power here. Matt this depression is stupid bih. Cut that bish off.
D: Oh really? I have influence! I am the sole reason all of this exists talking bout I have no power here.
R: Bullshit. Don’t listen to D. Salty ass just mad at the world and wants everyone to feel it.
D: Believe me, Matt I’m the reason this exists. You didn’t create this to just write…you created this to get away from me. Every time something bad happens, I make you pick up that pen.
R: This isn’t true Matt, you did this because you always wanted to do it. It was a dream of yours to write, whether it is profit or just for fun. You love writing you don’t do it to run away from depression. You pick up a pen because you are creative. Don’t listen to this loser.
D: Don’t listen to reason, you know deep down I am the true reason for all of this. I am the reason you wrote those stories. Creative my ass. I am your fuel, you need me and all those bad things to happen so you can become a greater “creative” if you want to use that label. Think about it. Getting rejected by that girl you like so much made you do so much in response to it. How is that friendzone working out for you buddy? I mean you should be the mayor of it because you are always there. Think about it. Matt that’s why no one wants you because you don’t have any drive or initiative to take action. YOU LET THINGS PASS BY. Getting bullied made you embrace me more than anyone else. I made you create to cope. I made you become who you are. I made you see how people truly are. No one cares about you, but me. It is just me and you at the end of the day. No one will understand us. And your parents divorce haha—
R: YOU SHUT THE HELL UP. Matt please don’t believe anything D says. D absolute bullocks. This is the same spiel D uses on everyone. D takes all of the bad and uses it against the person that D’s effecting. D doesn’t care about you, D doesn’t understand you. D is simply a user who wants to take everything from you including your life if D got the chance. Depression is the greatest loser on the planet. You don’t want to become the embodiment of what you hate. Matt is a creative soul. He makes things to feel better. YOU don’t make him make the things, he chooses to! Listen, his parents divorce, the bullying throughout schooling, the rejection from the girl he loves, all made him stronger. Those things made you smarter too Matt. Those moments inspired things you have created or will create one day. You made the decision to create things and you felt much better instead of harboring those feelings. Creating is a healthy way to self repair. Understand, Matt knows Matt better than anyone ever could right now. One day there will be a person who knows you better than you, heck maybe there is someone who already does. Don’t ever feel like you are trapped with just Depression because Reason is always right here. Think and don’t listen to this bully.
D:………
R: That’s what I thought D. You had your little moment today with making Matt feel sad, but you can take a seat. Go away.
D: I’ll see you soon Matt.
R: AND I’ll be right here waiting! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! MATT let’s enjoy this rainy day, you love days like this! Plus Hell In A Cell is tonight :)……..

(Reason continues talking, Matt smirks and takes a deep breath)

Matt: Everything is going to be fine. One day at time. Now where’s the food?

(Fade out)


I hope this helped anyone going through depression. Please listen to reason, don’t let depression bully you! Talk to someone, do something creative, have fun, don’t let depression get the last laugh! ALSO if someone says they are depressed, please listen to them and talk to them. Do not say “get over it”. Quite frankly you sound like a prick if you do say that to someone with depression. Keep fighting!

Till next time!

-MCZX

 

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